How Consumerism Almost Ruined My Life
How a life of taking was taking my life
I found a crumpled up piece of paper in the bottom of my backpack the other day. It was a list I made in 2018 of all of the things I wanted to enhance my quality of life — camera gear, designer clothing, DJ gear, new computer for work. A ton of stuff.
At first, I diligently committed to updating my list. Each time I obtained an item I would cross it out. Dark enough to where I knew I had purchased it but light enough so I could still see what it was. Like many things though, I never finished it.
When I pulled it out from my backpack and looked through all the items again, after all this time had passed, I figured I might as well update it. Before I knew it, every single item was marked out. For a short moment I felt accomplished and was proud looking back on a long, hard-fought season.
Then it hit me.
I still felt behind. I still felt like I was not where I needed to be. I still felt like there was more I needed to purchase.
I had spent time, money and energy on things that didn’t make me much more money, didn’t earn me new relationships, and certainly didn’t make me happier.
So, I prayed about it for a while. What was missing?
I was missing.
I immediately thought to Google my name and see what popped up.
As unique as I thought my name was, I was, in a digital age where information is at our fingertips, virtually invisible. Yet again, I felt like I was missing.
Why?
Because I was focused on consuming rather than producing.
You cannot consume and be found. To end up online you have to produce.
In a time where I could have been working toward my goals and leaving an impact, building a platform, or creating a legacy I was caught up chasing things.
Consumerism almost ruined my life and this is why.
I was not setting up my future
There is nothing sweeter than payday. Open up your bank account and there it is. NEW money you didn’t have before.
You pay your rent, your insurance, your car payment… your student loans… your credit cards… your… subscriptions.
What else?
We’ve all been here before. Setting our standard of living so high that right as we become “richer” we are sent right back down to being broke (yes, broke is extremely subjective).
In a perfect world, each time we get paid it should be an additional opportunity to build wealth and have another layer of financial security added to our life.
Yet, we crowd our lives with things we just “need.”
I fell into this trap.
I want to say I blame the consumerism that has been pumped into our head but really, I have to blame myself.
I wasn’t setting up my future, I was setting up my present. As I grew and connected more with my community and those around me who were financially thriving, my conviction grew.
My mentors laid out the importance of working hard and being disciplined now so you can have the mental and financial capacity to live the life and do the work you are called to later in life. For me, I was always focused on the now. When my perspective shifted, I realized how important margin was.
What if I lost my job? What if I got sick and couldn’t work? All of these “what ifs” left my life up to chance. If my income changed even slightly, my whole life would be dramatically altered.
I grew to understand that freedom is more important than the material things I was purchasing just to get a short-term fix and check a box of what I thought success was.
Now, it feels good to have the resources to invest in my future and the futures of those around me. It feels good to see net worth increase and to know at any moment I can give where I feel called. It feels good to know that each day I work hard and steward my money well is another day I get closer to complete freedom.
I became obsessed with material items
When you think of culture what comes to mind?
For me it’s music, sports, lifestyle.
Growing up I looked up to DJ’s, rappers, athletes, some of the successful icons of the black-sphere. I felt like in order to be like them I had to dress like them. I felt like it was a rite of passage to success. I felt pressed to wear expensive clothing and jewelry. Never once did I think… maybe this isn’t the outcome of success.
Everywhere I went I had in mind that I had to be the freshest and appear to be the most successful. I allowed what I owned to speak on behalf of who I was. I walked in a constant state of competition. That and the size ups held me back from establishing real connection with those around me.
As long as I had the upper-hand, I felt better.
I would judge a person’s worth based on what they wore, what they drove, what they owned.
In turn, I felt like others were looking at me through the same lens.
Shame on me.
I valued work because of the resources it brought and not the impact it made.
This pushed me into a place of setting high amounts of value on material items. My life goals and pursuits began shaping themselves around tangible things. I would select opportunities in the name of a dollar. My yeses and nos were not due to the opportunity, they were always based on the dollar I made on the other side.
I worked very hard and blew all of my money on material items. I developed an expensive taste that was constantly fleeting. I was always having to replace, renew, re-up on the latest gadgets and trends in my misinformed attempt to stay relevant. I valued work because of the resources it brought and not the impact it made.
It was an obsession.
I constantly wanted what I couldn’t have.
I was maintaining a lifestyle that took away my focus
I felt like I was looking through a foggy pair of glasses, unable to see and appreciate what was right in front of me.
Heading to the bank at one point was my favorite feeling of the week. 2–4 times a week I got that quick high from seeing my bank account number jump up. However, as they say, all good things must come to an end.
I was in the “grind” phase. Working every weekend, 10 to 12 to 16 hours a day. As I built wealth eventually I became immune to that bank deposit feeling. Too much money wasn’t enough money.
At one point my passion was focusing on people, creating and solving problems.
Then somewhere it shifted to trying to keep up with my expenses.
I went from making money and creating good work to HAVING to make money to sustain a lifestyle.
Very different mindset.
Where your treasure is, your heart will be also.
My treasure was in consumption and not production. I turned back after a year of hard work and had nothing to show for it because not only was I blowing all of my money on things, I was not doing work that aligned with my personal goals and passions.
My focus was shifted, and I lost myself and purpose in the mix of it all.
What changed?
My eyes were opened.
The constant chase was killing my soul.
Avoiding my calling was killing me.
I was slowly decaying trying to consume.
My life came back when I gave it all up to my divine calling.
I’ll still fall back into old ways if I consume too much of the wrong influence, my nature is to waste. It is like investing or exercising — “cheating” every now and then is okay but it’s important to make a habit of doing the right thing. However, I believe that each time you cheat your soul will crave more. So be careful.
Once I locked in and focused more on producing, I noticed my overall health and wellbeing began to improve. I was looking to produce relationships and not consume them. I logged out of social media and began producing content instead of just scrolling through it. And as I began investing and donating more, I found so much more fruit being produced in my life.
All it took was a shift of focus.
You were made to be great. You were made to create. You were made to make an impact.
Produce, don’t consume. Watch your life change in the meantime.
Iman Tucker a proud member of Believe Brand Co.
Believe Brand is a faith based apparel company who exists to allow others to express their faith and contribute to local causes through the proceeds.
SHOP APPAREL: https://believebrandco.com
DJ SITE: https://believebrandent.com
Follow me on IG: @Iman_Tucker
